


Policy Change

by EthontheFirst



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: From airlocks mostly, Other, Still Handsome though, a lot of people die, he's a monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 21:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18764785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EthontheFirst/pseuds/EthontheFirst
Summary: A short work I made as practice for writing(and because I love Borderlands and Handsome Jack)It's my own interpretation on what exactly went down at that 'Lightning HR meeting' during Claptastic Voyage.Lots of people die.





	Policy Change

Jack was currently speed walking down a long hallway, on his way to a HR meeting with the board, having almost completely forgotten about it and was running ten minutes late. The meeting was originally meant for Tassiter, but seeing as how he’s..‘retired’, it was now his duty as the new self-appointed Chief Executive Officer to attend it.

Jack had to drop what he was currently doing, which was trying to extract the H-Source from his Fragtrap Unit. The H-Source, Digital Omnipotence, with that in his hands, the entirety of the digital world would be at his fingertips. He wanted it, he needed it. Buuut, he had to take a break from it for a bit, because of one dumbass meeting full of dumbass people to talk about the ‘best course of action’ for Hyperion, they weren’t even aware of the new change of management yet. But they would know reeeal soon. The Vault Hunters could probably take care of themselves while he was gone, they’re badasses after all.

Finally he made it, behind the steel door in front of him were twelve men and women of varying ages, outlooks, ideas. But they all had one thing in common: They were pretty big jerkbags. Sure they kept talking about how the important thing was ‘deciding what was best for the company and it’s employees’ yada yada yada, but the truth is, they only wanted to pass their own proposals to further their own ends. A board of narcissistic, money-grubbing assholes. Sure, they may not be so different from himself, he might admit, he was hungry for power too. I mean, he just murd-..’strongly persuaded’ Mr. Tassiter to give up his position to himself, Handsome Jack.

Handsome Jack, god that has such a good ring to it.

The door slides open and Jack steps into the room as everyone goes dead silent.

“Sorry I’m late, was busy with something real important, which I kinda really need to get back to. So, let’s make this quick shall we?” Jack made his way around the long table towards the vacant seat reserved for Tassiter.

“John? What the hell are you doing?” One of them asked him, using his old less cool name.

“It’s Jack.” He took a seat at the chair, crossing one leg onto the other and resting his arms on the arm rests as he got himself comfortable. “Handsome Jack.” He said with a confident smirk, all the other directors looked at him like he was crazy, they just couldn’t see greatness even if it was right in front of them.

“Mr. Tassiter is sorry to say..’not with us anymore’. So starting today, I’ll be your new CEO. Any questions?”

A dozen hands are raised.

“Good! Let’s get started then, you.” He points to a young(and kinda hot) woman. “Give us your idea, make it snappy.”

“E-er..well, I was going to suggest we should be spending more money on medical care, perhaps install more medical stations and lower their prices? Due to all the wounded from the Lost Legion’s attack. So maybe we could-” 

“Alright-alright time’s up-good idea I’ll think about it, you-next.” He points to a middle-aged man.

“Well, I was going to suggest something similar to what Mrs. Rogers had just suggested, and also suggest that we perhaps, cease construction on the veins of Helios in order to conserve money to assist in the recovery efforts?” 

“Uh-huh..that sounds like a good idea I guess.” Something was..off about this meeting. These clowns’ ideas were actually sounding..kind of good? Like they were putting the Station and it’s workers before themselves. Now that was strange, almost..’un-characteristic’ of them even..that’s a word, right? Probably, yeah.

“Alright last one, errr-you.” He pointed to another man, but before he could speak another one of the directors spoke up.

“Alright, this is getting ridiculous. John, why the hell are you waltzing in here, acting like you’re the boss? We fired you, remember? And what happened to your face?”

“Okay for one, it’s Jack. Handsome. JACK. Get it friggin right. For two, let’s just say I ‘un-fired’ myself, and Tassiter generously offered me his position as CEO. And three, none of your damn business.” Jack crossed his arms, recollecting himself, no need to get super angry right now. This was a meeting, time to be professional. 

“Okay, ‘Handsome Jack’. Why don’t we ask Mr. Tassiter right now if what you just said is true or not? I’m going to call his Echo right now.” The director dials in his number, it rings a few times, but goes to voicemail. The director’s face was priceless, like real genuine terror as he looked to Jack. “What the hell is going on here? What did you do?”

“Woo, look at the time, I really need to get to what I was doing.” Jack said as he looked at his new watch. “Alright so, let’s wrap this up.” Jack clapped his hands together. “As the new CEO of Hyperion, I got plans for the future of the company, and I’m talking real big plans. Plans that, sorry to say..doesn’t include any of you. You’d all just get in my way.”

“What?-”

“Yeahhh..sorry guys, but. You’re all fired.”

One of the other directors shoot up. “Outrageous! You can’t do that, we are the board! You have no authority to-”

Suddenly, the steel door to the room slides open, heavy metal clanking being heard as a dozen Loader Bots armed with guns walk into the room. They surround them, aiming their weapons in a threatening manner.

“You sure about that kiddo?” Jack said with a devilish smirk.

The directors are terrified at the sight of their once totally passive Loader Bots aiming friggin guns at them, they were totally didn't expect this, and Jack was looks on their faces

“You can’t be serious!”

“Don’t worry, they’re not gonna shoot you, just escort you to the nearest shuttle pad and send you on your way. Alright everybody, stand up, we’re goin for a little walk.”

The directors are forced to stand up and walk out of the room, the Loaders surrounding them as they walked in formation, they walked for a few minutes before reaching a large set of steel doors. They slowly slide open, revealing a large room with another set of the doors on the end.

“Wait a minute..this is!-”

“ENTER.” The Loader Bots suddenly turn aggressive, forcing the directors inside with their superior strength, the doors sealing themselves behind them.

“Airlock sealed, preparing to vent contents of Airlock.” The voice of Hyperion says as the rooms lights turn into a sinister red. The walls on the side slide down, revealing a set of reinforced windows, with Jack on the other side.

“Sorry boys and girls, but I lied. You’re all gonna die.” He chuckled, crossing his arms and watching them start to panic. “If I just let you all live, you might end up working for my enemies. And I am done being stabbed in the back.”

Some of them started running around like lunatics, others banging on the doors and glass, a few starting to cry as they know their lives are soon coming to an end.

“YOU’RE INSANE!” The director who doubted his power screams as he slams both fists onto the glass in front of Jack.

Jack smirked, waving goodbye as he slowly reached for the big shiny red button.

“No! NO! PLEASE NO-”

Click. Ding.

“Venting Airlock.”

The doors on the other side quickly slide open, the vacuum of space starting to violently pull the directors into the cold airless space. Some were sucked instantly, some had some fight in them before being ultimately sucked out like the others. The last one to go was the little shithead who stood him up, Jack watched with satisfaction as he watched him cling to the glass with that terrified look on his face, his screams inaudible. It was gold. 

Finally, they were all gone, dead within moments as they were exposed to space. The airlock door sealed, and the walls returned to normal, bookshelves full of boring ass books.

Jack took a deep breath, and let out a satisfied sigh. God that felt so much better the first time he shot out some traitors from that exact same airlock, that feeling when people who mean you harm are getting what they deserved just felt so lucrative.

Now, where was he? Right, the H-Source. He left those Vault Hunters hanging long enough, time to get back to work.


End file.
